Greetings from Carrboro,
I’ve done the math. And I can say with a large degree of algorithmic certainty, that somewhere between 4:21pm and 5:19pm today the wheels will come off that New Year’s resolution bus. Lug nuts and all. This is a friendly reminder to hold on tight.
It’s usually not quite such an unmitigated disaster. Just know- you’re certainly not alone being stranded in the middle of the self-help highway; January does that to people. Face it, your foot came off that bus accelerator sometime last week when it was 5 degrees and Netflix lured you seductively to the couch. I know you told yourself that you were just trying to set a realistic pace – the year’s a marathon and all. But don’t panic. You can put down that rescue flare gun. Carefully, now. Acme is here to help.
It’s all about managing expectations. The resolution to get up at 5am and do Tai Chi 5 days a week is all well and good when you’re hopped up on Christmas tree shaped Reese’s cups. But the reality that your resolution pairs the pre-dawn hours with martial arts really doesn’t work so well when you consider that up until now, just taking out the trash at 8am in your robe felt heroic and worthy of a second cinnamon roll.
We recommend the following: choose something that you know you like to do and just do it better. Like, you know, going out and having a great meal. Hypothetically, you could resolve to have a great meal at a great restaurant in Carrboro before the first half of January is over. Easy, shmeasy. And look, it’s only the 12th. You’ve got four whole days to be a resolution hero. Hell, you could do it tonight. And, like that, the world would see you as the winner you know you are. 2018 could so be your year.
This weekend @ Acme: Shooting Point oysters on the half-shell. Grilled NY strip steaks. Butterscotch pudding. Acme pork & beans. Pan-seared mahi-mahi. Classic wedge salad. Pecan-crusted fried chicken. Spaghetti squash “cacio e pepe.” Creole gumbo. Cast-iron skillet pork chops. Duck ragu. Roasted bone marrow. Blackened salmon. Winter risotto. Forever roasted pig. Carolina crab cakes. And bourbon. Basically, all the important things. It’s 2018 – the bus stops here.
Well, that’s all the news from Carrboro. The staff at Acme look forward to serving you soon.
The Staff at Acme