How cold could it really be? From my perspective the facts were pretty conclusive. #1, it was late July. #2, the sun was warm and bright. And #3, I was in a bathing suit. Therefore: go swimming. The day couldn’t be more beautiful. The floating dock that I was standing on rose and fell as fancy sailboats passed by, powering away from the sheltered, island marina and out to sea. So, nonchalantly, I jumped in.

There are times when I’m intimately aware that I’m from the South. Putting ketchup on a hot dog in public. Ordering tea at a restaurant and receiving hot tea. And levitating five feet out of that summer ocean in Maine convinced that I’d dropped my private parts (and the rest of me) into liquid nitrogen. No. This was not Emerald Isle.

Needless to say, for the rest of the trip I used the ocean primarily as a bucolic backdrop for eating lobster drenched in butter. Because, as I now know, you can happily eat lobster in your swimsuit in the sun in July AND skip the acute suffering and any of those special utterances that almost freezing your ass off engenders.

This week the Acme Staycation goes north to New England and the rocky coast of Maine. Clam chowduh, two whole, steamed lobstuhs with drawn butter, corn on the cob, New England buttermilk rolls, and fresh, blueberry cobbler. Cost of the meal is $80. But the number of lobster dinners that we have is limited and will be based on the number of pre-orders that we get over the next few days. We will be receiving lobsters daily beginning Thursday morning and steaming them each day to be sold that night. The corn and the blueberries are local and beyond delicious. Honestly, it doesn’t get much better than that. And for authenticity, you could even put ice down your pants for the drive over. Or, you know, maybe not.

To order, click here, choose your pick-up day (Thursday-Sunday), then select the Staycation menu from the drop down.