For some reason I want to blame Ben Franklin. Or my 3rd grade teacher. Either way, somebody has to be the fall guy. All those pithy one-liners that have been trotted out as time-honored wisdom by ‘capital-A’ Adults since forever are the chicken pox of Americana. “A watched pot never boils” is just not true. And the apple keeping the doctor at bay sort of begs the question whether a pink guava would have the same effect on a chiropractor.
You see, my high school football coach was well versed in all such pompous proverbs. “Men,” he really loved to remind us, “ALMOST is never good enough. ALMOST only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.” He’d say this loudly. In very tight shorts. And then make us do push-ups. It was the smug chorus of his tyranny. So I will take no small modicum of pleasure striking a blow at that little truism.
Ever since “Friends” went off the air, we can all agree that Thursdays have been lacking any steadfast rationale to be noticed. The best thing that could be said about it was the fact that Thursday was “almost Friday.” Poor thing. Well, Acme is giving the fourth day of the workweek an upgrade. Starting tomorrow and through the end of September all of our entrées will be $15 on Thursdays. It’s true; read it again. Every entrée, every Thursday, $15 bucks. We’re calling it the Almost Friday $15. So now, ALMOST will count in horseshoes, hand grenades, and, yes, delicious dinners on Thursday nights at Acme. Take that, inflation! As Ben Franklin would say, “a penny saved is a penny earned.”
This week @ Acme: Pecan-crusted fried chicken. Acme tomato plate. Shooting Point oysters. Peach cobbler. Cold beer. Blackened salmon. Overnight beef short ribs. Tomato risotto. Craft cocktails. Wedge salad. NY Strip. Salt & honey pie. Fish & chips. Southern tomato pie. Acme smashburger deluxe. Mississippi tamales. Butter beans. Key lime pie. Firsthand Pork Chop. Acme Brussels’ sprouts. Bubbly. Peach & tomato salad. Forever roasted pig. Man does not live by bread alone. But Acme cornbread would do the trick.
Well, that’s all the news from Carrboro. The staff at Acme look forward to serving you soon.
Cheers,
The Staff at Acme
