Greetings from Carrboro,

You really shouldn’t do the math. Trust me. As someone who inevitably falls for the alluring trap that is DIY, I speak, let’s just say, from experience. Because while it’s true that, yes, you can put your faith in the internet and retile your bathroom, the successful outcome is not  – I repeat, not – a given.

Oh, it looks easy enough. But under no circumstance should you ever trust a guy wearing a toolbelt and flannel shirt on Youtube. (The ever so earnest ones from Wisconsin are the worst.) Sure, they can do it in an afternoon. But they are not you. This is weeks of work/misery. If you were only to factor in the time spent on your little incursion into home improvement – at a modest, hourly wage – the equivalent outlay could probably buy a vacation home. Though, on the flip-side, you wouldn’t be on a chatty first-name basis with Sandra at Lowe’s.

Thanksgiving is no different. Yes, it looks easy from afar. Like your little DIY project, there is the assumption of a certain jollity to the work; the holidays are often ensconced in that blissful fantasy. But then there’s all the time spent shopping and chopping, not to mention the relentlessness of worklife and family that seems to reach a fever pitch just when you’re dusting off that Gobble ‘til You Wobble apron and wondering how in the world you can get all the cooking done, much less in 24 hours. Merriment clearly has limits.

That’s where we come in. You order and we cook. Simple as pie. After picking up the meal, all that’s left for you to do is bask in the warm glow of your Turkey Day success. And watch the Macy’s Parade. That’s it. Absolutely no shopping or chopping. But most of all, no worrying. Nada. Order today and you can spend the next month patting yourself on the back for not falling prey to those culinary internet sirens calling you to the treacherously rocky coast that is Thanksgiving Dinner.

Acme’s Southern Thanksgiving Feast. Menu is below. Pick-up is the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, November 26th, 2pm-5pm. The meal will easily serve two hungry souls and costs $95 (not including tax and gratuity). And just think, with all that spare time you could easily build that outdoor fire pit you saw in Southern Living. Remember to please tell Sandra that I said, “Hi.”

Well, that’s all the news from Carrboro. The staff at Acme look forward to serving you soon.

Cheers,
The Staff at Acme