August 20th, 2026

Greetings from Carrboro,

I’d say that it’s some lovechild of Bingo and Jeopardy. And, honestly, how that plays out varies day to day, with distinct karmic overtones. One morning it’s, “Bob, I’ll take ‘fixing refrigeration with YouTube, prayer beads, and your cell phone flashlight’ for $500.” Then the next day you’re playing Bingo with no clue that “woman locks herself in bathroom stall until her blind date leaves” was even on your Bingo card, much less that it might be called out. Then, actually looking at the card, you notice “man brings llama as service animal” is also a possibility, and you try not to freak out.

Running a restaurant isn’t for everyone. I’m sure that a tech company will make a fortune—if they’re not doing so already—with some version of an AI restaurant therapist that warmly placates all of us hospitality Luddites who fear that following the trail of breadcrumbs into the woods might not be a good idea. I already see unrelenting social media ads promising absurd revenue growth with the click of a button—albeit a $499 “if you act now” button. It’s always some very attractive 32-year-old man or woman living the dream—sipping coffee behind a counter, wearing an incredibly clean apron, without a care in the world.

 

But when you’ve done this long enough, you know that you can’t separate the community from the chaos or the successes from the failures. Because it’s people—guests, staff, all the myriad folk who daily march in and out of our doors—who conjure both the mayhem and the magic. Of course, every single day we pray for more magic than mayhem—duh—while understanding that you cannot have one without the other. Period. The old saying that you can’t choose your family has a restaurant counterpart: you can’t choose your patrons. For nearly 30 years, we’ve been lucky enough to have all of you to tip that scale in our favor—no matter which game we happen to be playing that day. I can’t thank you enough.

But, please, don’t ever bring a llama.

Well, that’s all the news from Carrboro. The Staff at Acme look forward to serving you soon.

Cheers,

The Staff at Acme