Greetings from Carrboro, What if it was HA HA HA? Can you imagine? Somehow Santa wouldn’t be, well, Santa. And god knows, having jolly St. Nick chortle HE HE HE would be so-so-so much worse. Because there’s no doubt that the man with the bag needs a certain trustworthy gravitas. He already dresses oddly, knows […]
Acme’s 12 Days of Christmas
Greetings from Carrboro, There’s got to be some merry app for the Advent Calendar. Some dose of digital optimism promising a carefree holiday with lots of playful elf emojis and to-do lists and jolly reminders to check it twice. As if December could be wrapped so neatly. As if the Christmas snowball that starts rolling […]
‘Tis the Season of Giving.
Greetings from Carrboro, It’s a lot. There is, of course, the tree extravaganza. And the never-ending shopping. Then there’s cookies to bake, parties to oh-so-merrily attend, rambunctious children to nightly sedate. Not to mention the rest of your life that rushes forward towards the new year unabated. I get the sense that Rex – the […]
Up Your Cocktail Game.
Greetings from Carrboro, He called it a gin and tonic. And I do believe that both of those things were in the glass. Along with some ice and a submerged lime wedge. But this was no hi-ball glass or tumbler. This thing he handed to me was more akin to a footed terrarium. And the […]
Time for Thanksgiving To-Go!
Greetings from Carrboro, It’s definitely not a gold watch. But on someone’s last day at Acme, they get a very nice whipped cream pie. In the face. The planning is intense, the plotters always scheming to figure out who the victim would least expect to deliver the blow. And honestly, they will be pied (yes, […]
Easing into November
Greetings from Carrboro, I don’t have a tattoo. Though not completely on purpose. There was a hot minute when I debated getting a Duke’s Mayonnaise tramp stamp. Then I remembered the process was unquestionably painful and my feverish yearning quickly, um, cooled. And anyway, I have kids – even tatted up kids – that mark […]
Salt & Smoke: Only 9 Days To Go!
Greetings from Carrboro, I say it pretty often – as if it’s connected to a common experience and not – in fact – utterly impossible. “Why don’t we kill two birds with one stone.” Let me be clear: I’ve never killed even one bird with one stone. Or with any other projectile for that matter. […]
Resistance to Pumpkin Spice is Futile!
Greetings from Carrboro, I hope that marketing person is rich. But let’s be honest, they’re probably not. Instead they’re most likely somewhere in the middle of Seattle living a life relegated to infamy. Because after the fact, trotting out @pumpkinspicegal as your instagram handle in an attempt to claim cultural relevance just seems sad. And, […]
Soft Shell Crabs: Summer’s Victory Lap
Greetings from Carrboro, My understanding is that he was Italian. Born and raised. World War II had ended and he found himself in my father’s hometown of Cincinnati. The English language was not his strongest suit. At all. But his remarkable tenor singing voice most certainly was. And as mass was in Latin, the man’s linguistic […]
This One’s For The Whiskey Lovers.
Greetings from Carrboro, Essentially, there were only two. For a dollar more, true bourbon drinkers could order either of two upgrades – Maker’s Mark or Wild Turkey – rather than drink the standard pour of Jim Beam from the rail. Simple. And, true, their cousins from Tennessee, Jack and George (Daniels and Dickel) had their […]
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