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Greetings from Carrboro, I’ve done the math. And I can say with a large degree of algorithmic certainty, that somewhere between 4:21pm and 5:19pm today the wheels will come off that New Year’s resolution bus. Lug nuts and all. This is a friendly reminder to hold on tight. It’s usually not quite such an unmitigated disaster. Just know- […]

Greetings from Carrboro, Southerners don’t have snow shovels. Or, god forbid, snow blowers (whatever they are). And a hefty chunk of us don’t have one of those ice scraper-things that supposedly sit under the front seat of the car. But what we do have is a collective, creative response to cold and snow that can […]

Greetings from Carrboro, Generally, I don’t like prophetic gimmicks. You know, the whole fortune cookie thing. But there’s definitely a blurry line for me between a superstition and a tradition. On one hand, I like looking for four-leaf clovers – that feels like a spring tradition. But I’m decidedly less inclined to concern myself that […]

Greetings from Carrboro, There are rules. 1) Leftovers reach their absolute apogee at lunch the following day. 2) They’re almost certainly most delicious when you’re standing up in a kitchen. 3) And, with something akin to grief, all of us go through four stages before actually tossing leftovers – denial that we won’t, in fact, […]

Greetings from Carrboro, My father wrapped presents alone – bedroom door shut. Though from the den it sounded to the rest of us as if he were wrestling a herd of angry walruses over a bucket of herring. Or maybe sea lions. Bursts of paternal profanity and what only can be described as passive-aggressive grunts […]

Greetings from Carrboro, The older I get, the pickier I get. I like certain socks. Certain wine. I can’t help it. And that sugar-fueled Christmas smile of yore that conveyed unvarnished gratitude for pretty much anything has become, shall we say, rather varnished. Gifts don’t have the same generic allure. The R2-D2 footed pajamas with the perma-wedgie that I […]

Greetings from Carrboro, I have a decidedly cavalier attitude towards time. It’s a heady mixture of denial, hubris, and fear that would make Don Quixote proud. So not surprisingly, here I am, lance lowered, charging at Christmas. Again. This has been an annual joust for quite a while. Hell, I should probably start selling tickets.  […]

Greetings from Carrboro,   At some point we moved out into the county. I was 12 or 13. And the line between rural and suburban was fairly clear. The gas station sold bait and loosely wrapped sausage biscuits. And a large, sun-faded poster of Dolly Parton was taped to the wood-paneled wall behind the cash […]

Greetings from Carrboro, Black Friday and Cyber Monday meet Righteous Rib-licious Wednesday. Think: less suffering and more sauce. No camping in parking lots. No promo code searching. And no freaking elves. Just a great meal. You see, at Acme, we completely understand that dinner is way better than shopping. And that you deserve a break. Anyway, it’s still November. There’s […]

Greetings from Carrboro, Nope. That nervous excitement you’re experiencing isn’t some residual buzz from the 37 boxes of Nerds you ate last night. That’s the other feeling. This is something decidedly more primal. I like to call it the Salt & Smoke effect. It has occasionally led to uncontrollable whoops of “yee-haw!” in the middle of the […]